The Story of My Struggle - Part 19

Praise to the Lord at that time which has given consciousness soul of the father before he died. Until he could understand the words of what I say to mententramkan his heart, "Paa ... I'm saying Daddy, will I reply to people who have been hurt daddy. Believe me ... papa, who mastered the Judgement of God. Paa ..., I dreamed of seeing poor grieving mother thought that was gone. Then I said, "Paa .... Papa do not be sad, Daddy was the most in the care of God Worldwide. "

Since the father and mother had gone, I often pensive commemorate the suffering of our family life. Almost every day I cry. My heart sank turbulent arise proverbial hot lava in the bowels of the earth. I really hate against those who have hurt me. But if I remember the death, arising out of pity and I forgive their mistakes. But I do not want to hang out with them, except the brother of my own family.

Sometimes a sense of revenge led to a sense of desire to be the abundant treasures. It can not deny that wealth is a supporter at the level of social status. But sometimes I do not care about the degree, if I think, if my life was in the woods alone. But when considering their will be an insult to me and my family, then I want my degree of the highest among them.

If I was tired at work taking care of housework, the result appears angry with me. If I recall the words of my mother-in-law, and my three younger brothers. They always have something to talk about what they considered bad for me to view them, if they visited my residence. There must be that they complain to their mother. Until something of what they consider bad, will be made in the talk and innuendo.

Since Mom died, I tried changing my appearance. Every time I go out of the house, I wear Muslim dress. And during my stay at the home office, I never hang out with the neighbors, but there are important things. In my spare time, I prefer sleeping in the room. Sometimes I meditate for mententramkan heart and my mind is turbulent because of a great spiritual war.

At the time my father died, I forget what was in katakana by Sp, that SNH has menyantet him three times. Although at that time my brother gathered together at our parents house. But I might not reveal the problem, at the time the family was in mourning. I do not want to quarrel arose between us. I am waiting for the right time to talk about it.

On a day SNH came to where I live, in my memory in October 2003. Each comes, he along with his son riding a motorcycle. In the living room, I asked about the SP accused him of witchcraft. Then he menyatakn that the SP had turned into a dog. I was shocked and I said, "That's because my prayer to prove the truth that he was using to me!"

If I thought, I can hardly believe it. I really pray maghrib prayer time and Sahalat Isha and also at midnight, in order to make the SP in a dog no more in 40 days, as evidence that he had use for me. But if within a period of 40 days, he did not change mean I'm wrong accusations. Unfortunately, I do not know when it happened. On 27 March 2003, I dreamed of fighting with the dog and I tore his mouth.

According to the story of M, that on Thursday, Friday night, around 23:00 hours, M heard a dog howling while mendengur a knock the door. But M was afraid to open the door. SP told about the incident the next day he had just had last night. Initially at about 23:00 hours the night, the SP in a dog lick on the leg. The dog is coming from the west. After the dog lick it, then the dog ran toward the east. It happened on the path behind his house.

After the incident lasted more than 7 years old, I recently asked these events on M. But why would the story be different? First he said SNH and SNG, that SP is the Dog. But M SP said that her voice changed like a dog, then he came home would ask the M. He knocked on the door, calling, "Buu ... please ..." But he's worried too, perhaps M saw it, and he meditated on the elementary school behind the house. Up before dawn he was healed.


 TO BE CONTINUED,,,  (----->>Please Tell to all of your friends,, and share nor forward this Article, Thanks...<<-----) 

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The Story of My Struggle - Part 18

In March of 2003, my parents came home. Get there as usual I sat down to rest a while in the living room. Then I went to dad's room. But the father out of his room and stood in the corner near the window. He eyes sharp and seemed to keep a sense of anger. So I said to He, "Istighfar (There is no strength and effort, but only with your help,, O God ...)" then the father replied "You know what?"

One day I was surprised to hear the news from SNH. He said that the father was almost in the mayhem by Mr. Sunaryo with a sickle mower. Because the father intends to take the tree cassava tubers belonging He. Father would starve because M is less attention to He. Moreover, M has had a baby. There could be more shocking news. E said, that he had attempted suicide with his own neck with a belt hook. Luckily the two events, the SP and the help He saw.

That day I did not go home to visit his father, but a few days later my new home. I arrived there straight home and Sp immediately out of his room to greet me in the potion. Suddenly he said to me, "Mas SNH menyantet me up 3 times, I will reply later!" But I did not bother greeting He. I went straight to my father's room. Incidentally the door open. I saw my father was asleep in the supine position.

Circumstances dad made me cry. He is very skinny body to form bones visible. Her skin was a lot of black stains former itching disease. In addition to the father, I was sleeping on his stomach while he ate bananas fed boiled I had brought from home. My father knew when he invited me to speak, my father just said nothing, but he tears flowed, It seems sad to see my dad cry, saying, "Pa ... How many more times I met papa ..?"

In front of my father's door, Sp stood staring at us, saying to tell the two events in the natural father. He said that he saw even though the distance is far. He sees with the heart's eye he. When he said, I still did not respond he, because my mind was drawn to the Father. But even so, I was also thinking about the words of Sp that he menyantet SNH to 3 times, "I do not know what happened ..?"

On August 12, 2003, my husband received the news over the phone, that my father had died sata. I am very sad to hear that. But my husband just grateful. Said he, that my father is better to die than suffer his life miserable. But not for me, I want God to give me the opportunity to redeem the suffering of my father. If at that time I had become rich and have a home, I would invite my father to live with me.

That day I left to return to my parents' house. But it got there I was very disappointed, because the father already was buried. Why not wait for me to come? I got there around 12:00 hours Day and the father was buried around at 10.00 morning. Only two hours, maybe my brother probably worried I was crying and screaming. My father died from his face crushed in roll mattress over his head. Until my father's hard to breathe.

Next I went to the tomb of his father, in between by SNH. Up on the tomb of my father, I cried. I wanted to unload his grave, so I can see the face of the father for the last time. I tried to hold my heart pain and trying not to scream until my dad called. I do not accept the father neglected. Fathers should not suffer, because the father had a salary pension is more than enough.

There I stayed for seven days, because we held a joint prayer performed on every night for seven nights in a row. Implementation is in two places. Prayer that is done on the father's grave near sunset. And prayer is done in house at night. According to our belief, it is obliged to pray for his soul of the deceased, so they saved the world and the hereafter.

Already from the first time since my mother was alive, every time my father fought with Mom, Dad always said "Want Dead". Because the father was very disappointed to have children SNG, very rebellious against his father and mother. Until He eventually went mad. When mother was alive, dad can be patient and surrender to God. But after my mother died, my father no longer hold back the burden of suffering until the father tried to commit suicide. I'm not crying over the departure of the father, but suffering.

To Be Continues,, Please tell this to your friends and Comrade...  :D

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The Story of My Struggle - Part 17

Back when my mother and father still alive, I came home my parents every two to three months. I am very sad, because every time I go there I see the state of a dirty house, even dirty clothes piled on leave in place for days. I have always been understanding and I wash my dirty clothes. M is the children who are not devoted to Mom and Dad. She did not want to wash his own clothes, despite being in junior high school, until She adults.
As usual every time I go home to my parents, who first met my Mom and Dad of course. But after my mother died, my father became senile and sometimes a bit grumpy. It makes me afraid to approach the father. After the death of the mother passed about a year, the attitude of my father to be changed. My father became disregard my presence. M said that his father was always angry every day, making him perhaps worried M into M's room and slammed the baby belongs to M.
Mother's death I have made my father's life more miserable, until my father became senile. I share his pain. It makes me want to live with Dad, so I can care for and serve the needs of his life as before, when I have not married. I am also very sad to lose my mother. I was not satisfied to give happiness to the SHE. I also want him happy, but I do not want to stay with me.
Sincerity and love of my saying to my mother and father also to my brother, make the Lord bestows His love and facilitate all my business. There is one thing that I did not realize about a miracle. But precisely M is aware of and acknowledge it. She was surprised and asked me, "Why does every MBA Titi (I) To a cloudy weather here certainly could turn into the light?", When She asked me not to answer, but my heart said, "What's Right?".
Since I experienced voodoo, I was afraid if I was at my parents house. Every time I want to go there, I would ask SNH to He came there, to accompany me for 1 night stay there. Often I want to see my father and brother, but I imagine the atmosphere of fear when a house there, Till I sleep my heart saying, "I want to go home alone, but I feel strange."
I feel the atmosphere in the house, and in the surrounding area has turned into creepy. Makes me not like to stay there long. Actually I feel very happy when I'm hanging out with family. They are also very happy to see me coming. Moreover, every time I come, I always bring food and give something of what they need, even things that I provide is not worth the expensive.
On September 12, 2002, M gave birth to a baby girl. After giving birth her baby M, M to go home and live permanently in our parents' house with her husband. Pertengahahn In December 2002, I visited my father and brother. But get there, I can not meet his father and SNG, because they spent all day in their rooms and would not open the door to her room. Until the time I'm going home, I'm not good-bye to them.
There I was chatting with Sp in the living room. He told me, "A Pilgrimage Although, if people of West Java, it's like menyantet." Apparently He still harbored anger at the late Father who has made the Hajj Amak He vomited blood. Later He rose from his chair and walked over in front of me without permission, saying, "I seek the truth", I do not know the truth of what He was looking for.
In January 2003, SNH came to my residence. He told me that he did not intend to harm Sp. He just simply follow what is suggested by Father Amak Hajj. The main, M can be broken up with Sp. M always replied, "What if I'm pregnant?" In fact they still love relationship until they are married and have children.
Sp is the one that can not be trusted his words. Told me that Sp give advice, on M so that SNG who suffer from mental illness at any given poison. M convey these suggestions to SNH. SNH Advice from Sp making angry, then asked again about it in Sp. But He did not acknowledge his words. He said bawha, if M does not believe in the Sp will marry M, then if necessary Sp will give poison to his wife Sp.


(To Be Continued, Please forward this Story to your Friends,, thanks...) 

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