The Story of My Struggle - Part 18

In March of 2003, my parents came home. Get there as usual I sat down to rest a while in the living room. Then I went to dad's room. But the father out of his room and stood in the corner near the window. He eyes sharp and seemed to keep a sense of anger. So I said to He, "Istighfar (There is no strength and effort, but only with your help,, O God ...)" then the father replied "You know what?"

One day I was surprised to hear the news from SNH. He said that the father was almost in the mayhem by Mr. Sunaryo with a sickle mower. Because the father intends to take the tree cassava tubers belonging He. Father would starve because M is less attention to He. Moreover, M has had a baby. There could be more shocking news. E said, that he had attempted suicide with his own neck with a belt hook. Luckily the two events, the SP and the help He saw.

That day I did not go home to visit his father, but a few days later my new home. I arrived there straight home and Sp immediately out of his room to greet me in the potion. Suddenly he said to me, "Mas SNH menyantet me up 3 times, I will reply later!" But I did not bother greeting He. I went straight to my father's room. Incidentally the door open. I saw my father was asleep in the supine position.

Circumstances dad made me cry. He is very skinny body to form bones visible. Her skin was a lot of black stains former itching disease. In addition to the father, I was sleeping on his stomach while he ate bananas fed boiled I had brought from home. My father knew when he invited me to speak, my father just said nothing, but he tears flowed, It seems sad to see my dad cry, saying, "Pa ... How many more times I met papa ..?"

In front of my father's door, Sp stood staring at us, saying to tell the two events in the natural father. He said that he saw even though the distance is far. He sees with the heart's eye he. When he said, I still did not respond he, because my mind was drawn to the Father. But even so, I was also thinking about the words of Sp that he menyantet SNH to 3 times, "I do not know what happened ..?"

On August 12, 2003, my husband received the news over the phone, that my father had died sata. I am very sad to hear that. But my husband just grateful. Said he, that my father is better to die than suffer his life miserable. But not for me, I want God to give me the opportunity to redeem the suffering of my father. If at that time I had become rich and have a home, I would invite my father to live with me.

That day I left to return to my parents' house. But it got there I was very disappointed, because the father already was buried. Why not wait for me to come? I got there around 12:00 hours Day and the father was buried around at 10.00 morning. Only two hours, maybe my brother probably worried I was crying and screaming. My father died from his face crushed in roll mattress over his head. Until my father's hard to breathe.

Next I went to the tomb of his father, in between by SNH. Up on the tomb of my father, I cried. I wanted to unload his grave, so I can see the face of the father for the last time. I tried to hold my heart pain and trying not to scream until my dad called. I do not accept the father neglected. Fathers should not suffer, because the father had a salary pension is more than enough.

There I stayed for seven days, because we held a joint prayer performed on every night for seven nights in a row. Implementation is in two places. Prayer that is done on the father's grave near sunset. And prayer is done in house at night. According to our belief, it is obliged to pray for his soul of the deceased, so they saved the world and the hereafter.

Already from the first time since my mother was alive, every time my father fought with Mom, Dad always said "Want Dead". Because the father was very disappointed to have children SNG, very rebellious against his father and mother. Until He eventually went mad. When mother was alive, dad can be patient and surrender to God. But after my mother died, my father no longer hold back the burden of suffering until the father tried to commit suicide. I'm not crying over the departure of the father, but suffering.

To Be Continues,, Please tell this to your friends and Comrade...  :D

Posted in: My Story