The Story of My Struggle - Part 26

On the next day, M and Ike, my nephew came after me, in my husband's family home. M said that last Thursday, the evening, they arrived at the house, where I live in the City of BM. But the house, empty and locked. Because we had gone to the house of my husband's family. Finally, they spent the night in the mosque that is located behind the house. They slept without a mattress, pillow and blanket. They also fear the sound of a hen while incubating their own eggs. They fear that the voice is the voice of "Satan Kuntilanak".

Arrival at the invitation of my M, and M took Ike to accompany him. I want M to accompany me on the show "tingkeban" me later. In my memory the day Thursday, Friday night in the month of September 1996. I asked M to come to my residence first. So, we can go together. Because I waited a long time M, Finally my husband and I went first. I think M is going to come.

M and Ike stayed overnight at the home of my husband's family. My husband's mother apparently did not like the presence of M and Ike. I felt embarrassed and hurt, because when M was in the shower in the evening, my mother-in-law caused that M rapidly in the bath. When only about five minutes in length. My mother-in-law also did not offer them dinner at night. The next day, on Saturday, they go home.

The next day on Sunday, at about seven o'clock, the morning, when I would cook instant noodles, because I wanted breakfast, and when it happened I did not feel sick. Suddenly my wife's mother entered the kitchen, he told me: "No shame! Small children do not eat, who are already eating it first! "Oh Lord, what wait I have small children, a nephew of my husband came home from playing? What she forgot to have smaller babies who live in my womb? Why when I have the desire to eat, but she even told me not to eat? Finally in the afternoon we went home.

Although my pregnancy entered the age of eight months, but I've experienced vomiting. Approximately within one week, there are one to two days I have an appetite, although I was nauseated, but not to vomiting. I drink milk and I eat a bowl of shrimp and mussels without rice. Food, it is my favorite menu, every taste I have to eat, I eat quickly, so I do not think that it is a living food. If I knew it in depth, then I would be afraid to eat these foods.

The situation makes me weak I can not be forced to take care of the house with a good job. Therefore, I prefer a nap. Until there is a guest at one time, she is Mrs. P who came to see me. When I opened the door, I embarrass my husband. He said with a little shout: "Derivatives ..!" (That is: Likes to sleep)

When the content of my age, entering the ninth month I was very depressed. I was thinking how if I would later give birth? In the place where I will give birth to me later? If the deal with my child labor, the doctor Amrizal, I was very embarrassed because he is a man. I want to deal with my labor was a woman. Not just a shame that I had imagined, but also the pain of people are having a baby?

About two weeks before the birth of my child, I checked my pregnancy the doctor Amrizal. He suggested to me, so when I gave birth to a baby in the future, was in the hospital maternity "Tirtha Gold." Which will deal with my labor, is the mother Midwives Rakitem later. She a midwife who are elderly and would have very much experience dealing with labor. But later I was very worried she would not help me, because I am not a patient in she. And again, some people say that she likes to say sharply.

*****

* On Tuesday the 26th of November, 1996, at around 12:00 Midnight, I felt my stomach began to hurt as a sign I will give birth to my baby. At that time, my husband and I went to the maternity hospital "Golden Tirtha", with a rickshaw ride. Until arriving at the maternity home, I stood in front of the entrance. Inside the house, I saw a mother who was about 70 years. She just stood and was silent for a moment. She seemed to welcome me with a smile. *

* The attitude she makes me feel worried, she did not want to accept to help me. But I ventured to say that I came here on the advice of the doctor Amrizal. She suggested that if I would later give birth to my baby, the mother Rakitem course, in the maternity hospital "Tirtha Gold." My guess is that Old Mother Mother Midwife Rakitem, was correct. She invited me to sit. She asked my identity, and she examined my health. *

* That night, I could not sleep because every five to ten minutes, my stomach ached. Midwives Rakitem mother told me that I walk in the corridor. Until morning, my uterus has not been opened. Around 13:00 pm, Mrs. Midwife Rakitem ordered me to lay in bed. My husband sat in a chair on the left side where I lay. More than two hours, I was pushing, but my cervix opening process is very slow. *

* The length of my labor, makes me very tormented by the pain of a very, very great. I feel nervous, I slept off and on tilting to the left and right. Although I was in extreme pain, but she Midwife looks calm. She makes me think the attitude is negative. Maybe she does not like me, because from the beginning of my pregnancy until just before I gave birth to my first baby, I never check the pregnancy she. But suddenly, I came to ask for help on she. *

* I just feel how the pain of a mother who Fought to give birth to a child. When I was exhausted, a new midwife mother communicate via telephone with the doctor Amrizal. She then gave an injection of vitamins to increase my energy. I kept pushing and pushing with the Name of Allah! Water up to my baby's amniotic rupture. At that time, I was almost dead. I was very tired and I said: "I'm sleepy, I'm tired .., I'm going to bed ..." *

* Speech on me, made my husband and midwife mother encouraging me, pushing me to go back to tight it by repeatedly saying: "Come on ..!! Pull Breath!, Come on! Strong push! "Encouragement from them, spontaneous make me have the strength to fight the sleepiness, I push once, twice until I felt my baby's head is almost out, she suddenly cut Midwives my cervix as much as five times. Thank God Almighty, the baby finally came out and was born safely at 16.00. *
*****

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The Story of My Struggle - Part 25

 From the beginning of pregnancy until about three months of pregnancy. Every one to two hours, day and night, I experienced vomiting. My situation is weak, make me unable to work in home care jobs. I tell my state on M by sending a telegram. I intend to ask for help on she. But M, did not return via mail or via telephone.

Pregnancy until I entered the age of four months, I would occasionally throw up at night, but I still feel nauseated. Although my situation is very weak, but I tried to serve her husband. I continue to work to cook food to eat every day needs. At that time, I still hope that M will come to my residence. I hope she would come help me, so she wanted to serve my needs. Incidentally she has not been able to work to make money.

I walked up to the age of five months pregnant, I still hope she comes. I always love and hope she comes, until I heard the sound of each gate is opened, then I looked out of the house. But many times I was disappointed, because that comes not M, but a guard's office. Finally I came home my parents. I asked why M did not want to come there? The reason, she's sore leg injured from a fall while riding a bicycle.

When I give you news on M via telegram about my situation, my pregnancy is going on two months. But the timing of new sepedaa she fell from about a month ago. And when she says the reason, my pregnancy was the road five months. So, she gave the reason that is not appropriate. Because I sent a telegram had gone about three months. Although she did not want to help me, but she did not hate me.

I once met an accident SNGi we were at our parents house, He delivered the words of M belongs to me. M said: "marriage, marriage itself, which is delicious alone, when ill because of pregnancy, why ask for help me ..?" I do not know why she hated me. Though she did not hate me. Apparently she hates me, because she no jealousy in me.

I entered in the pregnancy to six months, I am sorry, because my sister who first had died after suffering from diabetes, the age of 45 years. I heard the news by telegram. Instantly, I became weak. I am very sad because I can not mourn. She lived in the city of Samarinda. Approximately ten years, we have not met. Though she and her family planned to return to our parents house.

In the pregnancy I entered the seventh month, we held an event called "tingkeban". Her show is very simple, just hold a joint prayer, by handing out food of rice and side-pauknya. We do not carry out the ritual, unlike what is usually done by family nobility. Its implementation in the house my father and mother in law. This tradition is held only on the child's first pregnancy only.

Tingkeban this event, held on at 19.30 tonight (7:30 PM). After the event, I came into the room to rest. Because I feel tired, then I woke up and headed to the bathroom. At the well, and I saw Nining Endang was washing dishes, glasses and other equipment while talking to me about bad things. They do not realize that I was listening to their conversation, Endang said in a voice full of hatred: "I sleep ..! Sleep again ..! "

They have planted seeds of hatred in my heart. They should think, so they can understand my situation who are sick. Why did they not say to be honest, if they did not like me? Why not just tell my husband to divorce me? What have I rested two times in a day? I'm sleeping over at 11.00 until 12.00 noon, then at around 14:00 I lie again? I am not a slacker!

Their words made me hurt, until I cry. I sat on a bench on the front porch, I sat alone, holding my rosary prayer "Nur Nubuwwah" in the heart. Then my husband out ruamh and sat next to me. When I want to kill myself, because I hated myself. I ignored my husband. Then I got up and walked over to the dark place that many of the trees.

The place is located in front of the house and near a dry river and lots of rocks. In that place, I was silent, but a moment later, my husband followed me and took my hand to take me into the house, but I do not want to. Because I want to be outside. I want to calm my heart is troubled.

We sat on the front porch. Actually I was afraid if they see the dark, especially alone. Suddenly my husband took me into the house. Because my husband smelled the carrion that makes her uncomfortable. He said that in genuk cemetery not far from where we lived, there was the corpse of a woman who just two days buried in that place.

The body of the woman, while his work as a midwife. She died after undergoing an appendectomy. Previously, she was dead, was buried in another cemetery. Then moved to the cemetery genuk. That story scared me, especially I also smell the carcass. And my state of being pregnant. Perhaps his spirit will persuade me to commit suicide. Finally, I want to get into the house.

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The Story of My Struggle - Part 24

In December 1995, I missed a period for 10 days and I started feeling nausea and vomiting. Because my husband told me to go to a gynecologist at the hospital. There is not a medical doctor who examined the patients used to deal with, namely Doctor Amrizal. But the deal is an assistant. For when it is, He has gone to the city of Yogyakarta.

Physician's assistant, told me to do my urine test, in order to know the outcome. After the test, the result was negative. He already knew the result was negative, but why he told me to sleep on their backs, and he put the tool into the uterine curettage me? And that means there is blood on me and he said that I was menstruating. I got home, my uterus was hot, and about 3 hours out of the uterus for the thumb.

In February 1996, I missed my period for about two weeks. Was also the same symptoms, I felt nausea and vomiting, so I see a doctor Safreil. Once I had a urine test, the results are positive I was pregnant, when we feel very happy. For over two years, we waited for our baby's presence. The length we do not have kids, make my husband often sullen.

At the age of three months the content of my way, I check again to dokte Safriel. There is a problem, in my pregnancy. I felt very miserable, because almost every one to two hours, I would throw up, to make me limp. Because I was vomiting all day and night. I even drank a glass of water only, my nausea and vomiting. Therefore, the doctor suggested that I undergo Safriel hospitalized at the Hospital so as not to become dehydrated.

Prompts Safriel the doctor, I do not live, because my husband did not invite me to go to the hospital. He let me in sickness. But I just still do not require to undergo hospitalization at the hospital. Anti Vomiting medicine and vitamins from the doctor was giving me a drink, but anti-vomiting medications are not effective, because it's all I drink vitamin also carried out vomiting.

Every time I throw up, both my eyes to stare. And my throat was so sore, due to frequent vomiting. Therefore, we consulted the doctor Susetyo via phone. He said that vomiting I experienced was that my baby's innate nature of the bladder. Every time I threw up, I always looked at the sky while my heart says: "God ...! What is my sin, until you torture me like this? "

When I am in sickness, my husband did not pay attention to me. I do not understand the attitude of my husband. He can not feel the suffering that I feel. He did not feel worried about my health, I was probably dehydrated. He prefers to play the cock fights, with two guards office. He was laughing like, when the cock pit, to the extent that he did not hear my voice calling for help he names.

Even though my body was emaciated and weak, but I keep running the prayer five times a day. Every time I finished the prayers five times, I always say one prayer "Nur Nubuwwah", said one verse five, and the prayer was given permohonn for children who obey the truth, perfect bodied, handsome men and beautiful if the child if the child female. Then two hands, I rub my belly rubbed on. After that I got up and I lay down in bed, waiting for the arrival time of evening prayer, I say to myself. Surat Al-Fatihah 100 times and Surat Al-Ikhlas 100 times.

After I finished the evening prayer, and then I eat and drink. I rested for about fifteen minutes long. Then I read the prayers of Sayyidina Akasah in full Mujarrobat book, written by Ahmad Qusyari, Bright Star Publishers, London. Prayer is a very long reach three pages of the book. So I could not memorize it. I read a translation of the prayer.

After that, I wish in my heart in Arabic. Prayer "Nur Nubuwwah" 100 times, and Letters of Joseph paragraph 99 to paragraph 100, as much as 100 times. I do not understand the words of prayer and every letter that I read and I say in Arabic .. I mean in outline only.

Surat Al-Fatiha (Opening): 
1. With the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 
2. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of hosts. 
3. Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 
4. The Master of the Day of Judgment. 
5. You alone we worship, and Thee we ask only for help.
 6. Bring us the straight path,7. That way the people which thou hast bestowed favors to them, not the way they are in cursed nor perverted their way.
 8. Amen

Surt Al-Ikhlas:
 In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 
1. Say, "It is God Almighty." 
2. God is the God that everything depended on Him. 
3. He did not berputra, and not too diputrakan. 
4. And no one equal to Him.

Surat Yusuf: 
• Paragraph 99 
And when they entered the place of Joseph, Joseph embraced his mother and father and he said, "Go ye into the land of Egypt, Hopefully in a safe condition." 
• Section 100 
And he was raised to two parents, to the throne. And they all lay down as he bowed to Joseph. And Joseph said: "O my father, this is the first screen that dream." Verily my Lord has made it a reality. And my Lord has been good to me. When he freed me from prison and when they bring us from the desert. After Satan damaged the relationship between me and my brother. Gentle my Lord Almighty for what He wills. Surely He is All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

With the rosary, I count the verses and prayers that I say. While I sat back down on the bed. Sometimes without realizing it, I fell asleep, and I must fight the sleep, before it was over a hundred times. I slept at around 2:00 A.M. I did all that passion, because I wanted to have children a moral good, physically and spiritually healthy body, and perfect. I believe it to what was said by san author of the book, that reads the prayer, there are a variety of benefits.

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